Sexy, fun, sardonic brain tumor blog names

As best I can tell there are two kinds of names for brain tumor and cancer blogs: boring explanatory names, and utterly defiant and original names.

Take my blog’s name, “Johnstumor”.  Yes, it tells you what you’re going to get if you read it, but it’s boringly simple.  It makes you think that I would’ve named Coca-Cola “brown sugared water”.

And then there are the fun names, the sardonic names and the sexier names.

“Sexy blog names for brain tumor and cancer blogs?” you may ask. Who would do such a thing? 

Well, for starters, Kris Carr. She has turned her illness into a lifestyle and business: http://www.crazysexycancer.com/

And then there’s “Cancer Vixen” which is the name of Marisa Acocella Marchetto’s book. Her blog is really just a part of her multifaceted website and has the more mundane name of http://marisamarchetto.com/blog/, I always think of it as the “Cancer Vixen Blog”. Although she seems to have stopped blogging, it’s worth a visit.

Other names, though, give you a sense of spunk and wit in the face of devastating cancer news.  A great example is http://www.butdoctorihatepink.com/. Here’s a lady with serious cancer issues that ain’t taking this lying down.  I love the first line of her “About Me” paragraph: “I am a breast cancer ass kicker in stilettos and denim.”

If you prefer a “tell it like it is” blog, Kalin Marie’s blog, “Cancer is Hilarious” (which, of course, means it’s not) is for you - http://cancerisnotfunny.blogspot.com/.

Another blog title with a witty bite to it is “An Inconvenient tumor…but aren’t they all” - http://aninconvenienttumor.posterous.com/.  Her last posting was September 2010…which makes me a bit concerned.

Not fun enough for you?  Try this: “Miss Melanoma: The Official Site for the Fun Side of Cancer” - http://missmelanoma.blogspot.com/

Want something even more fun?  Try “Cancer is Funny” - http://cancerissofunny.blogspot.com/

How about something that combines a wry sense of humor with unmitigated anger?  Try “Fuck Cancer and the horse it rode in on” at http://baldylocks.blogspot.com/.  I recommend listening to her “Stupid Cancer Rant” that she’s posted.

And then there is “Cancer Bitch” - http://cancerbitch.blogspot.com/. Since she’s a writer and teaches writing, she’s pretty good at describing her blog: “One Feminist's Report on Her Breast Cancer, Beginning with Semi-diagnosis and Continuing Beyond Chemo, w/ a side of Polycythemia Vera thrown in for good measure*** You don't have to be Jewish to love Levy's rye bread, and you don't have to have cancer to read Cancer Bitch. *** Cancer Bitch comes to you from S.L. (Sandi) Wisenberg in Chicago”.  

One line that has stuck with me through all the blogs I’ve visited is from http://www.alieofthemind.com/ in which blogster Samantha Kittle writes, “Brain tumors are funny, but they’re not hilarious.” Why do I like it?  Because not only is it bitingly sardonic, it leverages a subsidiary meaning of “funny” which, according to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary is “differing from the ordinary in a suspicious, perplexing, quaint or eccentric way”. I have found my brain tumor to be both suspicious and perplexing.

So why all this “hardy har har” in the face of deadly, life-sapping illnesses? For me, personally, it is a way of saying “You can destroy or maim my body or brain, but you can’t destroy my spirit.”

Another part is stress relief and trying to fend off the worries that a brain tumor brings.  I know that when I was in the hospital the more worried I was, the wackier my jokes were. 

When my skull infection was refusing to heal, and doctors were wincing when they saw the back of my infected head, I would latch onto any possible dumb joke or terrible pun or stupid gag to deflect the truth.  And the truth was, at that time, that my doctor needed to cut out my infected skull and throw it into the deep freeze to kill the germs...which he eventually did. (Someone told me that they used to throw infected skull pieces into a bottle of Clorox, but medical science seems to have moved beyond that).

If you find any other provocative or interesting blog names, please send them to me.