Another Beautiful Bad-Ass Brain Tumor Blogger: “The Everywhereist”

I love reading brain tumor blogs. I especially like blogs written by Beautiful Bad-Ass Brain Tumor Bloggers. One of my favorites is “The EveryWhereist.”

This is her post from June 27^th, 2012 - http://www.everywhereist.com/wtf-weds-i-have-a-brain-tumor-ive-named-it-steve/ 

It’s raw, sardonic, sarcastic, indulgent, scatological, stream-of-consciousness writing that makes you feel like she’s sitting across from you at a great coffee shop and doesn’t give a shit who hears her … because she knows she’s in the fight of her life with a relentless, deadly, diabolical brain tumor that is attacking her brain with all its force and venom and trickery.

The fact that she named her tumor “Steve,” is both hilarious and telling. If you read nothing else, read why she named her brain tumor “Steve.” (I named my tumor “The Blob.”)

John

PS - If you have a brain tumor blogger you love, send me a note.

What has having a brain tumor taught you?

I’ve recently read Jay Platt’s Huffington Post article entitled “What Having a Brain Tumor Has Taught Me” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jay-platt/life-lessons_b_3663587.html

His five lessons learned are:

1. “Bad things sometime happen to good people.”
2. “That which does not kill you makes you stronger. Maybe not physically, but certainly mentally, emotionally and spiritually.”
3. “It could always be worse.”
4. “Your attitude makes a huge difference.”
5. “Prepare now.”

I then reread Geraldine’s* blog posting entitled “70 Things I Learned from Having a Brain Tumor.” Her first five (5) are**:

1. “Trying to diagnose yourself over the internet is a terrible idea.”
2. “Rather than asking Google all those questions rolling around in your tumor-ridden head, I found it best to write them down and direct them to your doctor.”
3. “Feel free to run around the house doing your best Arnold Schwarzeneggar impersonation, saying “It is a tumor.” Trust me: it will never get old.”
4. “Note that the tumor is not the sole reason behind your tendency to enter a room and forget why you went in there in the first place. If that were the case, everyone on the planet would have a brain tumor. My mother would have 17 of them.”
5. “However, the tumor may be the reason behind your headaches, your hormone fluctuations, and why you think that Sorority Boys was a good film.”
6. “It’s okay to be scared out of your mind.”

My thoughts? I think that everybody reacts differently. Some folks get religion (literally). Some see this as a “wake-up” call to rethink their values…and then join a nunnery or go on disaster relief trips. Other folks are still in denial about having a “near death” experience in spite of the surgery. Some folks haven’t learned a damn*** thing. And some folks use this as vindication of their vapid lifestyle and shallow insights.

I am, though, interested in your reactions. Send me a note: john@chief-complaint.com.

John

PS – Yes, I’ve gone on a number of disaster relief trips since learning about my tumor. 

*You may know Ms. Geraldine as the ”Everywhereist.”

** I put in her first six (6) “learnings” because the sixth is so true and I wanted to see if you were paying attention and/or could count.

*** I’ve noticed that the really good brain tumor bloggers (e.g. Samantha Kittle) swear a lot more than I do, so this is my attempt to include some vulgarities. Next time I promise to use the words “shit” or, maybe, “scumbag.”

70 Things I Learned from Having a Brain Tumor

Full disclosure: I didn’t learn these 70 things, or even my own 70 things.  But I did read a brain tumor blog posting from Geraldine that I just love: “70 Things I Learned from Having a Brain Tumor.”

I’ve copied and pasted the first six for you to read and enjoy:

“Here are some of the things I learned from my experience. I tried putting them in some sort of coherent order, but that kind of failed miserably, so instead, I’ve just plopped them all into one big list.

Call it a brain dump, if you will.

Trying to diagnose yourself over the internet is a terrible idea. The world wide web, once a dear friend, purveyor of porn, and shopping buddy, will turn on you. And, as my friend Chad so brilliantly puts it, you will come away thinking that you have a life expectancy of three or four minutes.

Rather than asking Google all those questions rolling around in your tumor-ridden head, I found it best to write them down and direct them to your doctor. Every. Single. One. (Well, every single one that pertains to brain tumors. Don’t go asking your doctor about where you can find those naked photos of Prince Harry from Vegas. He might know, but it will just get awkward from there.) If you don’t write them down, trust me, you will forget them the second you enter the exam room, and will conveniently remember them again well after you’ve gotten home.

Feel free to run around the house doing your best Arnold Schwarzeneggar impersonation, saying “It is a tumor.” Trust me: it will never get old.

Note that the tumor is not the sole reason behind your tendency to enter a room and forget why you went in there in the first place. If that were the case, everyone on the planet would have a brain tumor. My mother would have 17 of them.

However, the tumor may be the reason behind your headaches, your hormone fluctuations, and why you think that Sorority Boys was a good film.”

It’s okay to be scared out of your mind.”

This listing is merely the hors d’oeuvres. To read the full menu of insights, reflections and assertions, go to: http://www.everywhereist.com/70-things-i-learned-from-having-a-brain-tumor/#comment-41211

PS – I, too, was scared out of my mind. If you’re not, your mind isn’t working…or you’re on some really, really heavy drugs.